This One's For Dad (Songs Only)

by Courtney McClean & The Dirty Curls

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about

The debut full-length album released to the world from Stand Up! Records - Listen on Spotify or purchase on iTunes.

credits

released June 10, 2014

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Some rights reserved. Please refer to individual track pages for license info.

about

Courtney McClean & The Dirty Curls Los Angeles, California

Bluegrassy Dirty Comedy Music. Putting the ass in bluegrass since 2009. AKA Naughtybilly.

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Track Name: Hey, Joe Biden!
G C
Born in ScrantON, PA, 1942
D G
without yer pants on, hey, lil’ baby you
C
who knew that you would grow to be
D G
the second in command of the best country
C
Vice President number forty seven
D G
That toothy grin is simply heaven
C
I think about you all the time
D G
Wanna be caught in your age - sixty nine.
G
Joe Biden
C
Don’t ya try hidin’
D
I’m good for the ridin’
G
Hey, Joe Biden
G
Joe Biden
C
for you, my legs widen
D
Why doncha just slide in
G
Mr. Joe Biden

C
Is there a rise in the temper-a-ture
D G
Around Delaware’s former Senator?
C
I could be your baby girl’s daughter
D G
But when you look at me, through the TV, it makes my mouth water
C
You’re the right hand to Barack Obama
D G
Now take that right hand and spank this good-to-go mama
C
Let’s go to Lincoln’s room, I want ya so badly
D G
It turns me on when you ask “who’s your granddaddy?”

G
Joe Biden
C
Don’t ya try hidin’
D
I’m good for the ridin’
G
Hey, Joe Biden
G
Joe Biden
C
for you, my legs widen
D
Why doncha just slide in
G
Mr. Joe Biden

G C
It don’t bother you when two gays kiss
D G
Or when you’re impersonated by Jason Sudeikis
C
I might be in love with your easy-goin’ style
D G
Here, take these Viagra to help you go that extra mile
C
So now you’re here, you see I dressed girly
D G
But, like those times you ran for prez, please pull out early
C
Mr. Veep, if you take me all the way,
D G
I promise when I climax I will shout “U.S.A! U.S.A!”
G
Joe Biden
C
Don’t ya try hidin’
D
I’m good for the ridin’
G
Hey, Joe Biden
G
Joe Biden
C
for you, my legs widen
D
Why doncha just slide in
G
Mr. Joe Biden

Mr. Joe Biden

Mr. Joe Biiiiiiiideeeeeen
Track Name: I'm No Cowgirl
As far as you can be concerned
My mind is of one track
I would rather look at you
When I'm flat on my back

Take me from behind
Or you can take me from above
Take me from around the corner
It's the cowgirl I don't love

'Cuz I'm too lazy to be on top
I don't care which you flip me I don't want you to stop!
At this point I don't need no She-Bop
Things'll be a lot less drippy if you just stay on top
I'm too lazy to be on top
I'm too laaaazzzyyyyyy tooo beeeee oonnnnn tooooooop.

The effort that it takes,
You are built better to withstand
Blessed with bigger biceps
Aw, it sucks to be a man

Holdin' yourself over me,
It makes me want you more
I know you wanna take a break,
But I don't wanna get hardcore

'Cuz I'm too lazy to be on top
I don't care which you flip me, I don't want you to stop!
I've been once or twice around this block
And things'll be a lot less drippy if you just stay on top
I'm too lazy to be on top
I'm too laaaazzzyyyyyy tooo beeeee oonnnnn tooooooop.

Bridge:
You know me, I'm not us'lly
The one to say "no, not tonight."
And gen'rally I'll stop the world
And melt with you; you're outta sight.
Though Momma's tired, she's still onna let ya
push it in with all your might.
'Sbeen a long day, but I still want you
And you know my puni's tiiiiiight (puni's tiiiiiight!)

'Cuz I'm too lazy to be on top
I don't care which you flip me I don't want you to stop 'cuz
At this point I don't need no she-bop
and things'll be a lot less drippy if you just stay on top
I'm too lazy to be on top

I'm too laaaazzzyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
to be on top.
Track Name: Dirty Talk
Honey, you listen very well.
Our communication is sublime.
But when we're horizontal, I can tell
You've neglected your readin' time.

I'm a girl of hungry ears.
I get off on a well-placed "fuck."
A fetish I've embraced throughout the years,
But when it comes to talking dirty, you're stuck.

"Wet Pussy, Hard Cock"
You bore me with your dirty talk
Every time we make love, I'm watching the clock,
cuz all you got is "wet pussy, hard cock."

Baby
Maybe it's the pornos you've been watchin'
Cuz honey you're lucky
You're dick can do the talkin'

Your horizons need a-broadenin'
Perhaps tomorrow we can brainstorm
Take in a little sodomy
Somethin' outside the same ole norm.

"Wet Pussy, Hard Cock"
You bore me with your dirty talk
Every time we make love, I'm watching the clock,
cuz all you got is "wet pussy, hard cock."

May I offer some suggestions on what I *want* to hear?

Ram your beef bayonet in my hatchet wound
Stuff my pink taco with your meat and two veggies
My bearded oyster could get down with your
blue-veined piccolo.
Your purple-headed womb broom can clean up this muff;
Work my bikini biscuit, my cha-cha, my chuff!
Put your heat-seeking moisture missile on route to my beaver.
My panty hamster wants to ride your baloney pony
Your kickstand, your third leg, your willy;
Gimme your Mr. Winky!

"Wet Pussy, Hard Cock"
You bore me with your dirty talk
Every time we make love, I'm watching the clock,
cuz all you got is "wet pussy, hard cock."
cuz all you got is "wet pussy, hard cock."
cuz all you got...
is hard cock.
Track Name: In Public
You say "The carpet has seen better lays"
and you carry me out the door.
Seems we can't get off these days
Unless the clouds are there to witness the score.

Don't get me wrong, it's no complaint,
I get more cock than hens
But it's a sign when the world has seen your taint
More than you have seen his vas deferens (impossible)

So let me put on my shoes
And my crotchless underwear
the thought of getting caught's more enticing
Than humpin' in a chair...

We're gonna do it in public!
Do it in public!
Do it in public!
Again.

Behind a fence or on a park bench,
Under the moon and the stars,
I ain't gonna be your livin' room wench
when there's a freeway fulla cars

Where there's people, we'll give a push
Ain't nobody do me bettah
Fucking my bush while we're in a bush?
Drives me crazy - it's quasi-meta.

I hear a distant rustling from beyond yonder tree
Oooh there's somebody coming
And that somebody is me

We're gonna do it in public!
Do it in public!
Do it in public!
Again. Again! Ok!

We're gonna do it in public!
Do it in public!
Do it in public!
Again.

I'm sorry, officer, we thought the mall was closed.
Our horniness got the best of us so we went where nobody goes.
We're usually the cautious sort,
when it tingles in the loins
But since we're here in the food court,
there's an open invitation to join

Let's do it in public!
Do it in public!
Do it in public!
Again. ONE MORE TIME

We're gonna do it in public!
Do it in public!
Do it in public!
Again.
Track Name: Do You Mind...?
Thanks for the drink, man
You know how to get this girl's attention
I don't need a second to think, man
So let's drop the "come here often" pretension

I know why I am right here
And you know why you're over there
so let's be honest with ourselves:
We'd make a pretty shitty pair, so...

Do you mind if my boyfriend joins us?
He'll stay on his side if you stay on yours
You guys don't have to do nothing togethers,
but mama's gonna get hers on all fours

I'm glad you're coming over,
The pickin's sure were slim tonight.
No, I don't do this every weekend,
Only when I meet Mr. All Right

Yes, that's his car in the driveway
I told you he'd be home a-waitin'
Of course I've got the liquor,
And he'll have the camera for videotapin'!

Do you mind if my boyfriend joins us?
He'll stay on his side if you stay on yours
You guys don't have to do nothing togethers,
but mama's gonna get hers on all fours
Mama's gonna get hers on all fours

Life is all about new experiences
Sometimes it's hard to say "yes"
But aren't you happy that you did?
Now that we are in a state of undress...

Do you mind if my girlfriend joins us?
She'll stay on her side if you stay on yours
You guys should prolly do somethin' togethers,
Cuz mama's gonna get hers on all fours
mama's gonna get hers on all fours
mama's on all fours
Track Name: Safe Words
I’m not into BDSM
that’s the whole dominant submissive,
bondage sex thing...
but if I were,

Here’s a list of safe words
I would use to denote that our play
had gotten a little out of hand

I’m sure you all know what a safe word is,
but in case you don’t, I’ll tell you,
it’s a word that is decided upon

beforehand for the bottom to signal
that it’s become way too rough
and they
would like it to stop.

Because sometimes people who engage in BDSM
Like to use the words “stop, you’re hurting me,” as
encouragement to get a little more pain

because it makes them feel good.
Anyway, here’s a short list of words I think
would be useful if I ever chose to go down the road

of being someone’s bitch in a dungeon...
By the way, You don’t have to memorize them;
If I’m ever your sub, I’ll remind you,
Here we go (here we go):

Cherimoya
Gray Duck
Mickey’s Christmas Carol
Harvey Kietel
Jeramiah was a Bullfrog

Titus Andronicus
Animal Husbandry
anti-disestablishmentarianism
Stonehenge
Dr. Pepper

Kung Pao Chicken
Slingblade
Grandma
Peter Venkman
Tapeworm
Vamos a jugar con la playa

Kyrie
Geiger Counter
Freddie Mercury
Belgium Waffles

Snooki
The Situation
and finally,
Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo

But I’m not into BDSM
but just in case
because someday I might change my mind.
I’ll keep you posted.

Safety first.
Track Name: The Family Tree
Butt sex isn't just for homos!
It's good if you do it right to me.
Slick it up and start it out in slo-mo;
Ain't no branchin' out the family tree!

I saw your mohawk through the crowd
And I knew that you were it.
A conquest for my "livin' loud!"
I had a week to get some shit.

When you finally got me home,
I got to see your tiny prick.
Yeah, it's nice doin' it "normal,"
But now I'm gonna show you where to stick it.

Butt sex isn't just for homos!
It's good if you do it right to me.
Slick it up and start it out in slo-mo;
Ain't no branchin' out the family tree!

Your mouth agape, you were amazed
that such a thing I would suggest.
Well, I don't know 'em, but I'll bet
those other whores you fucked are just repressed.

But I know I made your day...
Your week, your month, maybe your year
I'll do a lot, but I got my limits -
Get your wet finger away from my ear!

Butt sex isn't just for homos!
It's good if you do it right to me.
Slick it up and start it out in slo-mo;
Ain't no branchin' out the family tree!
Track Name: Slide In Three
Well it's official:
I ain't young enough to care
Whether or not he sees me in my granny underwear.
I'd like to know
He knows what to do when he gets down there
He won't be all confused because
I keep all my hair.

I would like to take it as a sign
He moves so slow he'll never cross that line
It's pretty obvious this boy is benign
But seriously, when's he gonna
stick it in my vagin.......ahhh

Baby, if it were up to me
I'd have you tied up behind the house on a summer night
Baby, since it's up to me
Let's make sure if you're taking the time,
You're taking the time to do it right.

If you're gonna respect me,
like I'm asking you to do,
Yer cute when you make sure it's ok puttin' in two
I hope you know I ain't gonna
Just let those things be
Honeybear, sweetie pie,
Slide In Three

Two revolutions past 18 years old
Seasoned enough to tighten up the knot in this blindfold,
Almost a man,
So there's little chance you're being cajoled
I've got your cherry now, from what it is
I've been told.
More flab and wrinkles than what you've seen,
Old enough to buy porn so I know you're not that green.
At your sexual peak, you gotta be more than keen
To take me all the way now that we're pickin' up steam

Baby if it were up to me,
We'd drive up to the lake,
My head in your lap the whole time,
Baby, since it's up to me,
Let me know the time you take,
You're taking the time to do it right

Since I'm a little bit older, do you mind picking up the pace?
It's expected that afterwards I'm gonna have to wash my face.
I hope you know I ain't gonna just let those things be
Buttercup, sugar dick
Slide in Three

Fingers are nice when you're thirteen years young
And alone in the band room when the naughty's begun,
But that's a decade gone and now you've found me in a bar,
I'm not pussyfootin' around,
Let's go even farther.

Baby, if it were up to me,
We'd hide away all weekend till I made you the man you're meant to be
Baby, since it's up to me,
Well, one or two is nice,
But I'd rather that you slid in three.

If you're gonna respect me like I'm asking you to do.
You gotta know, it's just okay... puttin' in two.
But as your first grown woman, I'm gonna be wantin' more
Candy fingers thick as sticks...
Slide in four.
Track Name: When Baby Becomes Legal
Congratulations on your little bundle of joy
You must have worked so hard at fuckin’ to get that adorable boy
He looks just like you and just like your old man
Aw, look how he fits in the palm of your hand

Right now he’s super cute with spit-up on his bib
But i can’t wait till he’s old enough to drive me to his crib

When baby becomes legal
I’ll be 54
My breasts and vag might sag and sag,
But he’ll be happy to score
I know it might seem weird to say
it now when he’s in a nappy
But there is gonna be a day when
This cougar’ll make him happy.

You know that I won’t make a move for eighteen years
And I’ll wait till he’s twenty-one to get him trashed on beers
But I can see it in his little wee angelic face
He’s not going to have a problem gettin’ pussy all over the place!

When baby becomes legal
I’ll be 54
My breasts and vag might sag and sag,
But he’ll be happy to score
I know it might seem weird to say
it now when he’s in a nappy
But there is gonna be a day when
This cougar’ll make...
him happy.

… him happy.
Track Name: That's Right (The Cousin Song)
That's right I wanted to fuck my cousin.
I didn't know he was my cousin.