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This One's For Dad (Songs Only)

by Courtney McClean & The Dirty Curls

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1.
G C Born in ScrantON, PA, 1942 D G without yer pants on, hey, lil’ baby you C who knew that you would grow to be D G the second in command of the best country C Vice President number forty seven D G That toothy grin is simply heaven C I think about you all the time D G Wanna be caught in your age - sixty nine. G Joe Biden C Don’t ya try hidin’ D I’m good for the ridin’ G Hey, Joe Biden G Joe Biden C for you, my legs widen D Why doncha just slide in G Mr. Joe Biden C Is there a rise in the temper-a-ture D G Around Delaware’s former Senator? C I could be your baby girl’s daughter D G But when you look at me, through the TV, it makes my mouth water C You’re the right hand to Barack Obama D G Now take that right hand and spank this good-to-go mama C Let’s go to Lincoln’s room, I want ya so badly D G It turns me on when you ask “who’s your granddaddy?” G Joe Biden C Don’t ya try hidin’ D I’m good for the ridin’ G Hey, Joe Biden G Joe Biden C for you, my legs widen D Why doncha just slide in G Mr. Joe Biden G C It don’t bother you when two gays kiss D G Or when you’re impersonated by Jason Sudeikis C I might be in love with your easy-goin’ style D G Here, take these Viagra to help you go that extra mile C So now you’re here, you see I dressed girly D G But, like those times you ran for prez, please pull out early C Mr. Veep, if you take me all the way, D G I promise when I climax I will shout “U.S.A! U.S.A!” G Joe Biden C Don’t ya try hidin’ D I’m good for the ridin’ G Hey, Joe Biden G Joe Biden C for you, my legs widen D Why doncha just slide in G Mr. Joe Biden Mr. Joe Biden Mr. Joe Biiiiiiiideeeeeen
2.
As far as you can be concerned My mind is of one track I would rather look at you When I'm flat on my back Take me from behind Or you can take me from above Take me from around the corner It's the cowgirl I don't love 'Cuz I'm too lazy to be on top I don't care which you flip me I don't want you to stop! At this point I don't need no She-Bop Things'll be a lot less drippy if you just stay on top I'm too lazy to be on top I'm too laaaazzzyyyyyy tooo beeeee oonnnnn tooooooop. The effort that it takes, You are built better to withstand Blessed with bigger biceps Aw, it sucks to be a man Holdin' yourself over me, It makes me want you more I know you wanna take a break, But I don't wanna get hardcore 'Cuz I'm too lazy to be on top I don't care which you flip me, I don't want you to stop! I've been once or twice around this block And things'll be a lot less drippy if you just stay on top I'm too lazy to be on top I'm too laaaazzzyyyyyy tooo beeeee oonnnnn tooooooop. Bridge: You know me, I'm not us'lly The one to say "no, not tonight." And gen'rally I'll stop the world And melt with you; you're outta sight. Though Momma's tired, she's still onna let ya push it in with all your might. 'Sbeen a long day, but I still want you And you know my puni's tiiiiiight (puni's tiiiiiight!) 'Cuz I'm too lazy to be on top I don't care which you flip me I don't want you to stop 'cuz At this point I don't need no she-bop and things'll be a lot less drippy if you just stay on top I'm too lazy to be on top I'm too laaaazzzyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy to be on top.
3.
Dirty Talk 04:36
Honey, you listen very well. Our communication is sublime. But when we're horizontal, I can tell You've neglected your readin' time. I'm a girl of hungry ears. I get off on a well-placed "fuck." A fetish I've embraced throughout the years, But when it comes to talking dirty, you're stuck. "Wet Pussy, Hard Cock" You bore me with your dirty talk Every time we make love, I'm watching the clock, cuz all you got is "wet pussy, hard cock." Baby Maybe it's the pornos you've been watchin' Cuz honey you're lucky You're dick can do the talkin' Your horizons need a-broadenin' Perhaps tomorrow we can brainstorm Take in a little sodomy Somethin' outside the same ole norm. "Wet Pussy, Hard Cock" You bore me with your dirty talk Every time we make love, I'm watching the clock, cuz all you got is "wet pussy, hard cock." May I offer some suggestions on what I *want* to hear? Ram your beef bayonet in my hatchet wound Stuff my pink taco with your meat and two veggies My bearded oyster could get down with your blue-veined piccolo. Your purple-headed womb broom can clean up this muff; Work my bikini biscuit, my cha-cha, my chuff! Put your heat-seeking moisture missile on route to my beaver. My panty hamster wants to ride your baloney pony Your kickstand, your third leg, your willy; Gimme your Mr. Winky! "Wet Pussy, Hard Cock" You bore me with your dirty talk Every time we make love, I'm watching the clock, cuz all you got is "wet pussy, hard cock." cuz all you got is "wet pussy, hard cock." cuz all you got... is hard cock.
4.
In Public 03:39
You say "The carpet has seen better lays" and you carry me out the door. Seems we can't get off these days Unless the clouds are there to witness the score. Don't get me wrong, it's no complaint, I get more cock than hens But it's a sign when the world has seen your taint More than you have seen his vas deferens (impossible) So let me put on my shoes And my crotchless underwear the thought of getting caught's more enticing Than humpin' in a chair... We're gonna do it in public! Do it in public! Do it in public! Again. Behind a fence or on a park bench, Under the moon and the stars, I ain't gonna be your livin' room wench when there's a freeway fulla cars Where there's people, we'll give a push Ain't nobody do me bettah Fucking my bush while we're in a bush? Drives me crazy - it's quasi-meta. I hear a distant rustling from beyond yonder tree Oooh there's somebody coming And that somebody is me We're gonna do it in public! Do it in public! Do it in public! Again. Again! Ok! We're gonna do it in public! Do it in public! Do it in public! Again. I'm sorry, officer, we thought the mall was closed. Our horniness got the best of us so we went where nobody goes. We're usually the cautious sort, when it tingles in the loins But since we're here in the food court, there's an open invitation to join Let's do it in public! Do it in public! Do it in public! Again. ONE MORE TIME We're gonna do it in public! Do it in public! Do it in public! Again.
5.
Thanks for the drink, man You know how to get this girl's attention I don't need a second to think, man So let's drop the "come here often" pretension I know why I am right here And you know why you're over there so let's be honest with ourselves: We'd make a pretty shitty pair, so... Do you mind if my boyfriend joins us? He'll stay on his side if you stay on yours You guys don't have to do nothing togethers, but mama's gonna get hers on all fours I'm glad you're coming over, The pickin's sure were slim tonight. No, I don't do this every weekend, Only when I meet Mr. All Right Yes, that's his car in the driveway I told you he'd be home a-waitin' Of course I've got the liquor, And he'll have the camera for videotapin'! Do you mind if my boyfriend joins us? He'll stay on his side if you stay on yours You guys don't have to do nothing togethers, but mama's gonna get hers on all fours Mama's gonna get hers on all fours Life is all about new experiences Sometimes it's hard to say "yes" But aren't you happy that you did? Now that we are in a state of undress... Do you mind if my girlfriend joins us? She'll stay on her side if you stay on yours You guys should prolly do somethin' togethers, Cuz mama's gonna get hers on all fours mama's gonna get hers on all fours mama's on all fours
6.
Safe Words 04:48
I’m not into BDSM that’s the whole dominant submissive, bondage sex thing... but if I were, Here’s a list of safe words I would use to denote that our play had gotten a little out of hand I’m sure you all know what a safe word is, but in case you don’t, I’ll tell you, it’s a word that is decided upon beforehand for the bottom to signal that it’s become way too rough and they would like it to stop. Because sometimes people who engage in BDSM Like to use the words “stop, you’re hurting me,” as encouragement to get a little more pain because it makes them feel good. Anyway, here’s a short list of words I think would be useful if I ever chose to go down the road of being someone’s bitch in a dungeon... By the way, You don’t have to memorize them; If I’m ever your sub, I’ll remind you, Here we go (here we go): Cherimoya Gray Duck Mickey’s Christmas Carol Harvey Kietel Jeramiah was a Bullfrog Titus Andronicus Animal Husbandry anti-disestablishmentarianism Stonehenge Dr. Pepper Kung Pao Chicken Slingblade Grandma Peter Venkman Tapeworm Vamos a jugar con la playa Kyrie Geiger Counter Freddie Mercury Belgium Waffles Snooki The Situation and finally, Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo But I’m not into BDSM but just in case because someday I might change my mind. I’ll keep you posted. Safety first.
7.
Butt sex isn't just for homos! It's good if you do it right to me. Slick it up and start it out in slo-mo; Ain't no branchin' out the family tree! I saw your mohawk through the crowd And I knew that you were it. A conquest for my "livin' loud!" I had a week to get some shit. When you finally got me home, I got to see your tiny prick. Yeah, it's nice doin' it "normal," But now I'm gonna show you where to stick it. Butt sex isn't just for homos! It's good if you do it right to me. Slick it up and start it out in slo-mo; Ain't no branchin' out the family tree! Your mouth agape, you were amazed that such a thing I would suggest. Well, I don't know 'em, but I'll bet those other whores you fucked are just repressed. But I know I made your day... Your week, your month, maybe your year I'll do a lot, but I got my limits - Get your wet finger away from my ear! Butt sex isn't just for homos! It's good if you do it right to me. Slick it up and start it out in slo-mo; Ain't no branchin' out the family tree!
8.
Well it's official: I ain't young enough to care Whether or not he sees me in my granny underwear. I'd like to know He knows what to do when he gets down there He won't be all confused because I keep all my hair. I would like to take it as a sign He moves so slow he'll never cross that line It's pretty obvious this boy is benign But seriously, when's he gonna stick it in my vagin.......ahhh Baby, if it were up to me I'd have you tied up behind the house on a summer night Baby, since it's up to me Let's make sure if you're taking the time, You're taking the time to do it right. If you're gonna respect me, like I'm asking you to do, Yer cute when you make sure it's ok puttin' in two I hope you know I ain't gonna Just let those things be Honeybear, sweetie pie, Slide In Three Two revolutions past 18 years old Seasoned enough to tighten up the knot in this blindfold, Almost a man, So there's little chance you're being cajoled I've got your cherry now, from what it is I've been told. More flab and wrinkles than what you've seen, Old enough to buy porn so I know you're not that green. At your sexual peak, you gotta be more than keen To take me all the way now that we're pickin' up steam Baby if it were up to me, We'd drive up to the lake, My head in your lap the whole time, Baby, since it's up to me, Let me know the time you take, You're taking the time to do it right Since I'm a little bit older, do you mind picking up the pace? It's expected that afterwards I'm gonna have to wash my face. I hope you know I ain't gonna just let those things be Buttercup, sugar dick Slide in Three Fingers are nice when you're thirteen years young And alone in the band room when the naughty's begun, But that's a decade gone and now you've found me in a bar, I'm not pussyfootin' around, Let's go even farther. Baby, if it were up to me, We'd hide away all weekend till I made you the man you're meant to be Baby, since it's up to me, Well, one or two is nice, But I'd rather that you slid in three. If you're gonna respect me like I'm asking you to do. You gotta know, it's just okay... puttin' in two. But as your first grown woman, I'm gonna be wantin' more Candy fingers thick as sticks... Slide in four.
9.
Pity Phuck 02:47
10.
Congratulations on your little bundle of joy You must have worked so hard at fuckin’ to get that adorable boy He looks just like you and just like your old man Aw, look how he fits in the palm of your hand Right now he’s super cute with spit-up on his bib But i can’t wait till he’s old enough to drive me to his crib When baby becomes legal I’ll be 54 My breasts and vag might sag and sag, But he’ll be happy to score I know it might seem weird to say it now when he’s in a nappy But there is gonna be a day when This cougar’ll make him happy. You know that I won’t make a move for eighteen years And I’ll wait till he’s twenty-one to get him trashed on beers But I can see it in his little wee angelic face He’s not going to have a problem gettin’ pussy all over the place! When baby becomes legal I’ll be 54 My breasts and vag might sag and sag, But he’ll be happy to score I know it might seem weird to say it now when he’s in a nappy But there is gonna be a day when This cougar’ll make... him happy. … him happy.
11.
That's right I wanted to fuck my cousin. I didn't know he was my cousin.

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The debut full-length album released to the world from Stand Up! Records - Listen on Spotify or purchase on iTunes.

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released June 10, 2014

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Some rights reserved. Please refer to individual track pages for license info.

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Courtney McClean & The Dirty Curls Los Angeles, California

Bluegrassy Dirty Comedy Music. Putting the ass in bluegrass since 2009. AKA Naughtybilly.

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